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Monday, December 5, 2016

Waiting to Be Pursued..or Not

Okay, confessions time! Time to get real with my sister girls. I don't usually do this but a little rant here and there won't hurt nobody right.

It's wedding season and for those of us who desire to be married someday, I know it can be one of the toughest times of the year. Another round of ring on the finger, invitation to be a bridesmaid, engagement photoshoots and instagram hashtags (what's up with them hashtags tho?)
So as the emotions come rushing stronger than ever on those cold winter nights and maybe even feelings of loneliness, I want to share this coming from a place of "I can relate" as well as "let's not get carried away"

So I have heard many people use this mantra: "wait to be pursued" or "wait on your Boaz" or whichever way you want to put it. And if we are being honest, marriage (or should I say, weddings) are becoming more dangerously idolized. And most of us experience this in the most subtle ways. Don't get me wrong, I cherish marriage and I hope to someday be married to someone who will walk together with me on this journey. I am not here to debunk that mantra of waiting, because it is the truth but actually just to rant about some of the things I have seen in this "waiting" process.

Utilize as much Grace as you can

First of, this waiting thing takes A LOT of grace. In this day and age of social media, it is easy to read someone's "love story" and automatically make it your own prayer point lol. Be careful on that. You know, it's easy to put a time stamp on God's plan for you and when it doesn't come as early as you planned, things get pretty messy in your mind. As women of faith, we are constantly being encouraged to wait to be pursued and if we desire to be with a genuinely godly man, we project that the waiting period may even be longer than we imagine (just because, godly men scarcity is real). Or in some cases, it's not that you are not being pursued, just not by the right ones, lol. Hey, I don't know what your case is, or how long you've waited, but I just want to encourage you to UTILIZE that grace even when your desires are burning hot fire lol. Sister, I won't pretend and say there aren't times when the desire to be married peaks high, but there's nothing you can't bring to the feet of Christ, let Him regulate those desires for you in a healthy way.

Let God write your love story

No seriously, I am not trying to be cliche. Who else would you trust to write the story of the rest of your life? Be genuinely happy for people who have gotten to that stage of their lives. Don't let the devil plant seeds of bitterness in you. We are called to rejoice with those who rejoice; so when next you see that wedding picture of your friend, say congrats and bless their home with a prayer! (Can I get an Amen?)
Marriage is a gift from the creator to the creatures and not a necessity for fulfilling your purpose. Is it still a gift when you force it out of the hands of the giver? or better still, go out of your way to get it yourself and call it a gift? No, it is precious when it comes straight out of the giver's hands with a cheerful smile of, "My daughter, I found you someone to help make this journey more worthwhile"

What if ?

Now to the main point of this article, one which I want you to hold most important of the things I have mentioned. A lot of times, there's a miscommunication to young ladies desiring marriage that all they do should point towards that end. Even from well meaning sources, the message often passed across is: "do this and that, so you can find the right one" Dear sisters, we were created for the ultimate goal of bringing glory to God and marriage is one of the many means to that end. I understand the need to be thoroughly prepared for marriage in our hearts because of the attack of the enemy on the institution of marriage today, but I tell you this, there's no amount of preparation you do before marriage that will allow you to need less grace when you get into it. You will need as much grace preparing for it as you do when you get into it, because they ain't no small shoes to fill. My point is, our goal shouldn't be to be prepared to be the best wife but to be a good servant of God that he may prepare us for whatever is ahead: marriage, career, kids, life etc There's nothing good in us except that which the Father gives (Romans 7:18 PAR) Marriage is a good thing to desire but like every other good gift from the Lord, let's be careful not to love them more than the giver of them.
Now ask yourself, what if I never get married, will I still rejoice in the Lord at all times?

I pray God teaches us to place all our desires in His hands that they may be tested to be pure and rid us of every selfish intentions that come with them.

Stay strong sister girls, the aisle is a beautiful thing to look forward to but seeing God in all of His glory is even much MORE exciting!

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