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Thursday, September 15, 2016

With Every Throw in the Air

I had coffee with one of my good friends earlier this week and as we talked and shared on God's faithfulness, I was taken aback. I remembered when I first got to the U.S , the challenges I faced my first couple of months here and my experiences thus far. While I told her my story, she said something that struck a cord in me and led to some sort of "epiphany". She said: " You had no choice

but to trust God; your faith was trialed" This wasn't the first time I heard someone use the term "your faith was trialed" but this was definitely the first time I would personalize it.

Rock Bottom 

You see, I'd describe myself as a somewhat pragmatic person; therefore, I hate not being able to do something practical about a situation. You tell me there's a problem, I'm already thinking of a million and one ways to get it solved. I become very uncomfortable when I see that my hands are tied in any situation. God took this not so pretty detail about me to teach me a lesson that would prepare me for the next phase of my life.
Now, I look back at those moments when I hit rock bottom, when I could do absolutely nothing about the craziness around me. It was in those moments I learnt to trust God by letting go of my own "wisdom".


When I learned that some of the credits I carried over from my previous university may not be
accepted by the one I had just transferred into, possibly adding at least an extra year to my degree, I panicked.
How do I tell my mom, who was sick at that point, that she might have to pay for an extra year of tuition because I made a decision to not complete my education where I started it? I panicked, but I told myself, "this can be fixed." I was ready to do anything it takes to make this go away. I ran helter skelter, spoke to various people, cried my eyes out. There had to be a way out of this, I always find a way... so I told myself.

"I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do to help you" I had just spoken to my last "source of help" and that was when it dawned on me that I had been pushed to the wall and there's no way out this time. I went home, fell to my knees and prayed (more like cried with a few words in between). God was my last resort and I had to believe only He can make a way where there seems to be no way. I had no choice left, literally, but to believe.

Dare to Believe

You see, I did get the credits approved and God did make a way but I wish this would be the last time I tried to depend on my own abilities. Time and time again, in completely unrelated situations, I have had God teach me this lesson of surrendering all to Him. I had to be pushed to the wall on many of these occasions to actually see, that I can do absolutely NOTHING by my own power.
How beautiful would it be if we actually made God our first resort? Before picking up that phone to call a friend or running from pillar to post to pull some strings, wouldn't it be nice to just take a moment and sit at the feet of Christ. Not that trusting God wouldn't sometimes require some type of action from us but when we practically display our trust in God by going to Him first, we allow Him be God.

Let God be God

Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom because it may be a much better view from down there to see the extent of God's grace. I have learnt and still learning that the lessons I learnt during difficult times are the ones that have stuck the most. Not that I enjoy being tortured (lol) or that God even wants us to go through difficult times to learn to trust Him. But because we are humans, we tend to lean towards self reliance. Every now and then, these tough times shake us up and bring us back to the reality of our depravity and how we are in desperate need of a savior.

We let God be God when we go to Him first in everything that concerns us. Not only do we liberate ourselves from having to carry such a heavy weight of self sufficiency but we also allow God teach us the joys of having Him to depend on.
Saying with our mouths that we trust God is as easy as saying we love Him but the challenge comes in actually LETTING Him be God over our lives, our finances, our emotions, our relationships...

It is not always easy, I know this for sure. I mean, how do you stay calm in the midst of raging storms? Especially when you suffer from anxiety, like I do.
Not to sound cheesy or anything, trust me when I say, God sees it, He knows it and He most definitely understands it.

Have you ever seen the face of a child being thrown in the air by his/her father? Most times, the child is happy and excited, trusting that the father will catch them with every throw in the air.
That's how God wants us to feel about Him and unlike the human father who is fallible enough to make mistakes, our heavenly Father does not make mistakes.
Rest in the unchanging assurance that He will catch you with every throw in the air... if you let Him.

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