Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Embracing Introversion (2)



"It is the chiefest point of  happiness that a man is willing to be what he is."- Erasmus 

To the presumed weird, the socially awkward, the minority, the deep thinker, the artist, the different one, the unique, I say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Because of your constant need for serenity, because you'd rather take some time to articulate your thoughts before speaking, because you prefer to listen most of the time, you may be seen as strange but my dear, strange is only a word the world created for things they don't understand.
For every thing that ever goes wrong in my life, I often take on the burden of blaming it on my personality. Even in cases where the other party/parties was/were clearly wrong, I always find a way to take the blame and I'm not even saying this in a noble way at all. Verbal communication has been my biggest struggle for the longest time and I've excused every failed relationship, attempted adventure and indecisiveness with this weakness until recently when I  decided to stop falling victim of something that doesn't define my entire being.  And even though it's just verbal, I often just say I'm terrible with communication all together. 

I love having deep conversations with friends especially the ones that never hold back on dishing out the truth to me. Recently while I was having a conversation with two of my friends, on different occasions, they pointed out the same thing to me. 
They would both mention the fact that my major excuse in life is my struggle with verbal communication and this happens even in some situations when I'm clearly not to be blamed. Looking ba ck at my life, I couldn't agree more.

My wake up call was a statement my very intelligent friend made: 
"We all have communication issues, they just come in different forms. If you're terrible with expressing yourself verbally, go ahead and do it the best way you know how to. You write well, why don't you highlight that strength more than you tear yourself down for what's lacking. People who love will learn to appreciate that about you" 
I really needed to hear that. Although this is not to say that there isn't always room to improve on our weaknesses but my point is, understanding that we are all flawed in different ways makes us embrace our struggles and all together propels us into being better versions of ourselves. 
So, for all the times I've had good intentions but was unable to verbally communicate them effectively, for all the times I chose silence not because I had nothing to say but because I was consumed by my fear of not being able to voice them properly and for all the moments that have left me in frustration; I  have chosen to keep growing in my knowledge of self. 

I came across an article written by an introvert; it was a letter from an introvert to extroverts and it felt like I was the one who wrote it because it was spot on. Please Click here to read. 
A lot of people who are more extroverted will most likely not understand some of the challenges faced by introverts and that's OKAY but what's unfortunate is that a lot of introverts do not even understand their tendencies and this pushes us deeper into our holes. How do you explain that you're being misunderstood when you don't even understand yourself?

I can relate and I have been in the struggle long enough to want to learn to survive as an introvert in an extroverted world with the freedom to make a difference even in my own quiet space. 
Some books were recommended by the author of the article I shared earlier and I'm hoping to share some nuggets with you as I read them. 

Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert who cares about an introvert, I hope to have you join me on this series of learning and living the introvert life :)  
PS: I have a billion unfinished books on my kindle so forgive me if I'm not very consistent in sharing or reviewing. Please just subscribe to the blog to get updates. 

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